| That only took 2 years... |
[Nov. 18th, 2009|03:05 pm] |
I finally changed over my phone number - the cable company kept offering me a no-cost upgrade but it was the inclusion of BBC America that sealed the deal, finally. That and the Unretrievable Voicemail from Beyond.
Anyway, if you wants my new number, email me or something.
Thought of the day: If I created a religion, I'd make the main villain the Burger King. He freaks me out man. |
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| "I shouldn't have to give you electric shocks to make you a pleasant person." |
[Nov. 17th, 2009|09:19 am] |
Saturday night I missed yet another of the rare social events in my life. My subconscious was even angry at me - I drifted off to a dream of the Templar guy from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade looking down on me and proclaiming "You fail!"
I was done with my work crisis at 8:23pm, I could have easily thrown on a shirt and driven 40 minutes and at least stopped in, wished happy birthday, and chatted with people. I tire of my own excuses, the people who are my friends shouldn't have to do all the work.
And if you've never seen The Zero Effect, it is a brilliant little gem of a film, at turns filled with pathos and humor and some of the best dialogue ever.
"I'm telling you he never even leaves the house, okay. I mean he's like some kind of recluse. Complete freak. No social life. In fact, no social skills. It's a strange fucking thing. When he's working, the smoothest operator you've ever seen. Brave, slick, cunning, can do anything. Soon as he gets off work, it's all gone. Afraid to go to the dry cleaners. Literally. Too uncomfortable in his own skin to go out and eat. Tactless and inept. Rude, too. Just an asshole."
I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that I am Daryl Zero |
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| "I am still alive but very burnt." |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|11:23 am] |
Now I understand why movie villains are always killing employees/minions who go bad - because it's far less hassle to push the red button than do all that paperwork.
Saturday night I was called to cut off security access to one of our contractors. I realize that applying for a job while one still has a job is a delicate matter. Probably complicated when one trashes their current employer. What I'm still amazed by is how our company guy knew about this within 4 hours. Contractor was out on his butt in near-record speed. Something about the combo of him having gotten a bonus earlier in the week and then declaring that we were incompetent boobs, that didn't sit well.
And yes, changing access to shared documents and re-doing passwords is a major annoyance. By the way, Google Docs is fairly amazing - you can do things like maintain hour/project spreadsheets with multiple user access. I'm still learning how to set them up but I'm impressed by their Excel-like power so far.
P.S. Turns out that given the small and Somali pirate-like industry I work in that company owner B called up our guy, said, 'Oh hai, one of your dudes just applied to us - and he said you were complete shite'. Mystery solved. Now I can stop living in fear that my pilfered supply of White-Out will eventually be discovered. |
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| It's probably bad that I use Dexter as my gauge of relationships |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|11:37 am] |
I've just started watching season 4. He has married Rita and moved in and they've had a baby together. In this episode, Rita is seething with fury toward Dexter because he hasn't gotten rid of his apartment - which she responds to by throwing him out. An odd reaction but not that different than skipping school and being punished by being suspended from school...
It's a weird flip - that change in behavior/expectations that happens when we cross the line from dating/screwing/being in lurve to married. It seems to me that the old connotations of ownership are not far removed from what happens mentally once we get married. Our partner is suddenly burdened with a set of expectations we wouldn't dare impose on a "free" person.
I may be single for a long time.
P.S. Am I the only person that's heard Christmas music in stores already? One of my grocery stores had a full-blown display going on November 1st. |
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| Thought of the day |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|08:17 pm] |
The other night I randomly flipped to the Discovery channel and a woman on a ranch in south Texas was relating the story to her brother in law how her chickens were being killed and he blithely replied "It sounds like you have chupacabras."
That's my new favorite answer for everything. |
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| Dialogue from V that probably didn't happen |
[Nov. 5th, 2009|11:11 am] |
Attractive alien leader: "I can see Alpha Centauri from my house."
An overly cynical interpretation of political subtext in the new V reboot:
I learned that any new leadership that comes along and promises to help the population will destroy Jesus and that Universal Health Care will lead to humanity's doom. |
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| But it's pronounced "Throat-warbler mangrove" |
[Nov. 4th, 2009|02:51 pm] |
Today in How to Derail a Conversation about a fatal car-dunking:
"Kyrstin"? Really? That has got to be a typo.
Oh, I get it. They must have named her after Kyrgyzstan. Because the obvious answer, that it's an idiotic spelling of an otherwise common name, that would be silly!
I hate that crap. When people ask me how to spell my kids' names I have accidentally said, "Correctly." Lucky I wasn't talking to a Brittanee.
Contextual ad fail:
It's a little weird that I read about a drowning in myDesert.com.
Today's Car Sinking in Remote North Dakota Pond Advice: You can make a phone call or escape via a window or door but aren't going to do both. |
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| Did anyone watch the new V? |
[Nov. 3rd, 2009|11:30 pm] |
Just curious if they kept the tone of the original series, which was all about fascism and the way people responded to it. This last weekend the old series was on - Diana's hair did get bigger and more Texan toward the end. No wonder she wanted to nuke everything.
Moment when I knew the humans would win: Michael Ironside. Forget Marc Singer and his flyaway hair. |
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| Daylight Savings ruins my migratory patterns |
[Nov. 2nd, 2009|10:36 am] |
I hate it - nothing like bright sunlight in the early morning when I'm trying to sleep off the laudenum and then having the sun set before I'm done with work. We're no longer living in 1918 but now have things like electric lights so anachronisms like dst should be ignored. But this shows the inertia of our societies in general, that once a practice is adopted, it will be carried on decades after its utility has expired.
In other news I've noticed that the miniature Reese's dark chocolate cups aren't as good as the full-size versions. Besides my usual suspicions that the bite-sizes of most candy come from some industrial-slurry chocolate leavings along with sweepings from the peanut factory floor, Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcasting Network has another plausible explanation - Demons may be lurking in our Halloween candy!
Nutcase Writer Kimberly Daniels asserted that: “[M]ost of the candy sold during this season has been dedicated and prayed over by witches,” Daniels wrote. “I do not buy candy during the Halloween season. Curses are sent through the tricks and treats of the innocent whether they get it by going door to door or by purchasing it from the local grocery store. The demons cannot tell the difference.”
Best quote from her-now deleted news release: "I have prayed for witches who are addicted to drinking blood and howling at the moon." |
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| Facebook stopped working on Macs |
[Oct. 30th, 2009|01:16 pm] |
Probably not for everybody but yeah, I can't post in Firefox or Safari so my minimal presence in the matrix there is now non-existent.
Happy Halloween / Samhain everyone and remember to wear your Silver Shamrock masks!
Halloween III: The Most Confusing non-sequel named as one evah! |
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| "I think every erection is a miracle." |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|11:32 am] |
Larry David Makes Jesus Cry, Angers Catholics
In the episode, Larry is on medication which makes him urinate forcefully. It's so powerful that while going to the bathroom at his assistant's house, he accidentally splashes some on a picture of the Jesus hanging on the wall. This, in and of itself is hilarious because:
a) the shocking and embarrassing nature of this type of accident, and
b) what is a picture of the Jesus doing, hanging in the bathroom?
I've been in houses that had White Republican Jesus pictures in virtually every room, and in general, Catholics wouldn't be so reactionary on this topic if they would stop genuflecting before every grilled cheese sandwich and radiator stain in the shape of the Messiah.
Bill Donahue, Whiny and Professional Victim, will be on the ever-repellant Fox and Friends to whinge about "attacks on Jeebus".
Video Clip: Splashback or Trust Your Gut |
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| Standard disqualifier: I'm NOT saying this about you, personally |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|11:19 am] |
But when I hear the word "vegetarian" my immediate association is "giant pain in the ass". I will admit that this is a completely subjective bias, instilled by a variety of restricted diet/insane girlfriends.
So last night on Top Chef, Natalie Portman is the guest judge. The chefs were told to prep a menu for head judge Tom Colichio's steak house and then she was brought in and dropped the bomb that she's vegetarian. Last season it was Zoey Deschanel, who was vegan, but they didn't do the bait-and-switch when they had her on.
So, the chefs are in a steak house, have to throw out their menus and make vegetarian. Now I'd be the first to admit that Mike Isabella is a caveman - the first episode had him asking Jennifer if she was the pastry chef(a sexist no-no) but he can cook. Most of the time, anyway. But no, he had a warped pot, his leeks were Yoda-like swamp food, and Mike got booted and Robin, the annoying extravert managed to stay another week. Kevin won and he continues to be competent and likeable.
My Top Chef moment this week sounded something like this: "And the tuna casserole is finished with lightly freezer-burned peas & baby onions." My refrigerator/freezer has temperature control issues, turning it into the Hoth Ice Cave. |
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